Monday, September 9, 2013

She's Legal-21


Since I have embarked on my new spiritual journey, it has given me a lot to think about. One of the things that have weighed heavenly on my mind is being able to change the way I raised my daughter and the fact that I could have shared more hugs with her. Today, I am happy to say that as I continue to evolve as a person I am more conscious of my actions towards her. As the old saying goes “You know better, you do better.” 

This dedication was written on June 28th at 6:30 a.m. to be shared with her on her 21st Birthday. Evidently, my spirit was so heavy with emotions that it woke me up and until it was written, I was not going to be able to rest. So often, I get these thoughts and I have to write them down, otherwise my spirit will not be at peace.

To My Petunia,

Courtesy of

I cannot believe how fast time has flown; it seems like yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time.

I have so many bottled up emotions in me that I do not know where to begin. First, I want to say Momma loves you unconditionally, besides God; you are the CENTER of my life. I often deal with guilt because affectionately I was not there enough to shower you with hugs. I have always told you I love you and you know that I have always had your back, while that is important so is affection and that was something that I lacked in the past as you started to grow. Only the Lord knows that you have tested my patience throughout the years. Whew, only GOD knows.

Throughout life you live and learn. The truth is when becoming a parent at 20 years old, you learn through the process and often the right decisions are not always made. Looking back, there are so many things I good have done differently. Even though, I cannot change the past, I can do better in the present and in the future. I want to say that I am sorry for not always knowing what to do and for not making the wisest decision concerning our mother/daughter relationship. However, those times were some of the best of my life. I can honestly say we grew together. Your smile has been my strength and joy over the years. Today, spiritually I am a better person and I know what is needed to ensure you feel you are loved unconditionally. That is why I am constantly hugging and holding you. I have found that it calms your soul, relaxes you and reassures you in all areas of your life, that is what I love about the new me because it makes you a better you. I am very proud of you and of all of your accomplishments you have made thus far in life. You have grown to be a beautiful and compassionate person, always thinking of others and giving freely. You are strong and very opinionated. I have seen you conquer goals, endure trials, and still stand tall. Please remember to keep GOD first and everything else will fall into place. I look forward to seeing you continue to evolve as my daughter and as a young woman. Remember, I am always here for you…